The Naked Truth
by Minerva Blue
Summary: When a routine mission goes south, it gets very difficult to explain to your commanding officer just how things went wrong. Please don't hate me for this.


Spur of the moment crap. More of a one shot scene here. Well, I can't have much to say, enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Stargates, tv shows or movies. Or the charecters for that matter.  
  
=========================  
  
"Unauthorized Incoming Traveller!"  
  
General Hammond looked through the blast window at the gate which had just been activated. "Who is it?"  
  
"It's SG1 sir."  
  
"What? Six hours late."  
  
"That's about right sir."  
  
The General appeared absolutly irritated as he made his way down to the gate room. SG1 made it a habit of being late, granted it had never been entirely their fault but the explenations were always so outrageous if he hadn't been privy to every classified thing that came through the mountain he would have dismissed it as a fancy way of saying 'my dog ate my homework'. Unfortunatly as the flag team came through the gate General Hammond began to want a more detailed excuse then previous occasions, his face was beat red. "COLONAL WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??!!"  
  
Colonal O'Neill gave a slight wave to his commanding officer, offering a slight smile to ease the situation. "Hey General."  
  
"Colonal I want an explination NOW!"  
  
The Colonal looked around before returning his attention to General Hammond. "Now sir?"  
  
"This was a routine mission. One which you not only come back late but this happens. I want to know what the hell happened Colonal."  
  
All for members exchanged looks, both not wanting to be the one to speak first. Finally, Tealc broke the silence. "It was a routine mission General Hammond."  
  
"I think I already said that Tealc, Now I'd like to know what went wrong."  
  
O'Neill cleared his throat. "Well we all arrive on P3X...whatever. Lots of dirt...and sand."  
  
The General stared at his second in command. "Continue Colonal."  
  
"Did I mention rocks too? Lots of rocks."  
  
Carter interupted in effort to save her commanding officer. "We walked about a mile out where Jonas helped me set up the diagnostic equiptment. There wasn't much to do so the Colonal and Tealc decided to do some exploring."  
  
O'Neill picked up where the major left off. "Lot's of rocks."  
  
"I believe we found a path O'Neill."  
  
The Colonal nodded. "Right, that's where we met Andrins."  
  
Hammond looked at the Colonal. "Hostile?"  
  
"Uh..No, actually they were friendly sir."  
  
Hammond nodded. "So this explains what happened?"  
  
O'Neill shook his head. "Nope, not in the least. Actually they invited us to a banquet."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"We were attacked sir." Carter interupted. "By the Gould."  
  
Tealc nodded. "We were taken aboard."  
  
General Hammond looked at Jonas. "Do you have anything to add?"  
  
Jonas shook his head. "N...uh no..no sir."  
  
Hammond nodded. "And this is why you're...."  
  
O'Neill interupted "...No sir. Actually we got out of there."  
  
Major Carter nodded. "Some rebel Jaffa helped us escape."  
  
General Hammond nodded. "That's great. But that still doesn't explain your condition."  
  
O'Neil nodded. "Right, well we landed on another planet with a stargate and we ran into...who were they again?"  
  
Tealc answered O'Neill's question. "I believe they were called the Tal'ro."  
  
Carter nodded. "They were actually an amazingly advanced civilization. I mean all things considered General they have no crime..."  
  
Hammond stopped Carter. "Major. This is all wonderful information, but I'd like to have this explained first."  
  
Carter nodded. "Yes Sir...well they had their Stargate under lock and key, apparently as a sacred artifact."  
  
Tealc continued. "They were unwilling to allow us access."  
  
O'Neill glanced at Tealc. "Well they did offer a trade."  
  
Hammond nodded. "Okay, what kind of trade."  
  
Suddenly everyone got very quite as the members of SG1 exchanged glances. Sam looked at O'Neill. "Sir?"  
  
Jack O'Neill shifted slightly before speaking. "You'll be happy to know sir we didn't need to share a single piece of technology. But they really liked our weapons."  
  
"Colonal you all returned with your weapons if I'm not mistaken."  
  
"Right sir, we were a bit unwilling to give those up for access to the stargate. Fortunatly they did suggest something else they happened to like. You know why is it that even other planets don't want the MREs?"  
  
"Colonal. Get to the point."  
  
"Right...well there wasn't much of anything we had to trade and we were all very attached to our weapons, so they offered something else for us to exchange..."  
  
Sam spoke. "They seemed very interested in our clothing sir."  
  
The Colonal nodded, not saying a word as all four members stood bare on the plank. "Sir...is it alright if we..."  
  
General Hammond shook himself out of the daze he was in and nodded to the team. "Go ahead. and will someone lend them....something?" 


End file.
